I know you’re probably nestled in the arms of your loving Prince Charming, making out or just simply watching reruns of your favorite comedy series eating popcorn and drinking pink lemonade. You guys are so sickeningly cute, you in your Hello Kitty pajamas and him in his whatever. Not that I’m stalking you or anything, but, I just happened to be in the neighborhood…….
That’s not the point.
I know to you I might have only been your smart, funny, witty friend, but to me you were more. I loved you so intensely, but my intense love was mistaken by you for unswerving loyalty in friendship.
You’ll probably never see me again because I’m going away to try to get over you, so this is the time and medium to confess everything I’ve done to keep you from him because I wouldn’t be able to stand the look of disgust on your face when I tell you.
Remember how all the girls picked a day to talk about all the fun they’d had with him even when they knew you guys were going through a rough patch with you catching him with Opal and all their secret rendezvous behind your back? Well, I paid the girls to do it. Not Opal though, but since it took you away from him, I was glad it happened.
Remember how you almost got in trouble with the disciplinary council of the school for making out in the janitor’s closet? I did that. I placed an anonymous tip on the Principal’s door. I didn’t intend for you to get so scared out of your skin about it, but in my defence, I stuck up for you.
I know you’re disgusted at the lengths I went to to see that you and him didn’t get together, but keep reading. I just want to say I’m sorry in advance for all the things you are about to read.
Those poems we wrote for English class that made him so jealous that he almost ripped both our heads off? I might have accidentally on purpose left them lying around. In your defense, he was probably screwing Tami at that time, so I totally helped you.
The rumor that you were going behind his back and hooking up with four random guys that made you guys have a major fall-out? I didn’t do it, but you might want to ask your maid of honor about that one when you come back from your honeymoon. She always had a thing for him, you know and if she didn’t scare him so much, he’d have been screwing her on the side too.
Safe to say that’s the last of the evil deeds I’ve done to keep you apart. I understand if you hate me after this but I’m not so worried because I’ll be far away from your wrath and ultimate disapproval. To speak the truth, your friendship meant more to me than anything. I know I sound really sappy, cheesy and all the things you hate, but your friendship was what woke me up every morning. Every new day was an opportunity to be close to you, smell your lavender scented hair and feel your smooth, soft skin. Did you ever wonder why I hugged you twice as much as I did everyone? I don’t think so.
I was and still am confused as to why you would choose him over me. I know I’m dorky and a tad bit uncoordinated, but I’d never cheat on you. But here you are, married to a guy that cheated on you almost throughout high school and made you feel inadequate all the time. How are you even sure he really loves you? I mean, fr all you know he might be screwing his secretary on the side.
I’m sorry, but it’s just so hard not to go all out on him. Where was he when you had to puke your guts out to stay thin for him when he was screwing Opal? Where was he when you were dealing with the loss of your baby siblings? Where was he when you had to go through the pain of removing the child he gave you from your womb because he said he wasn’t ready? Where was he when you were going through depression? Correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t your “boyfriend” so to speak supposed to be even closer to you than your best friend? Isn’t he supposed to be there for you every freaking step of the way?
But your immaculate Prince Charming was off screwing another bimbo’s brains out while you went through all these and you’re still with him. It’s just damn amazing. I guess it’s true what they say about book-smart girls. They’re never any good at relationships.
I’m riled up now. I know you’re disgusted that I tried to keep you away from your precious Dan, but you’re being blind and foolish. Although I’ve been trying to tell you for years that he’s no good, “love” has blinded your eyes. Come to think of it, I can give you all he has and more. And I actually earn it. I’m not mooching off my parents while you work.
But I guess the heart wants what the heart wants. This is my sincere wedding gift to you- my heart on my sleeve. I cannot tell you “Happy Married Life” and actually mean it because I know this marriage is going to cause you pain. Pain that cannot be rivaled. While I’m still going to call you occasionally, I wont be there as often as you need me. Forgive me if I’m being selfish, but everyday I see you, my heart breaks a little more. Georgina, I cannot wait any longer for you to see the light. I’m going to try and wean myself from you. When you call, I’ll always answer, but I wont always be there as a shoulder to cry on without wanting to murder that jerk Daniel.
I have enclosed a cheque of a hundred thousand dollars. It’s the least I can do for the one who has occupied my heart for the past decade and a half. Do not use it on that jerk because, I swear, if you do, the next time you’ll see me will be in jail because I will murder the idiot.
I love you, just as much as I did when I first met you. The words of the song Break Even by The Script come to mind while writing this letter. I do admit that the best part of me was always you and that I do not know where I’ll go from here, but know that I’ll always love you, you’ll always be in my heart and prayers.
Gosh, it’s been eons. So, I finally wrote. Not much though, but whatever. Anyway, I’m giving you two posts today because I’m awesome and bored.