Is it worth it?
This awkward dance we do around each other.
You telling me how much you love me
Me running away because I just don’t see you that way.

The electric moments before our lips touch,
The spark that lasts only a few seconds into the kiss,
The myriad of pop songs that I play in my head, just to keep from pushing you off me
And hurting your feelings in the process.

You’re like fine China,
I feel like I’m taking away your innocence
Anytime we touch
I feel the urgency in your kisses
And I’m ashamed I cannot be who you want me to be.

It breaks my heart that I might be the one that makes you never trust
Or love again.
Someone needs to be with the pillar of purity that is you,
Just not me.
At least not now.

But even though my stomach does a 50 foot drop of guilt every time I see you,
I still want to be close to you,
To absorb every bit of your loving
I’m a selfish bitch, I know.

But it can’t be worth putting you in such pain,
Can’t be worth all this awkwardness,
Can’t be worth the enormous burden of guilt I feel
Can’t be worth fighting over nothing
Just to get you to leave me alone.
I’m tired, bro.
It’s not worth it.

**************************************
*************************************
I’m pretty sure the last paragraph was an enormous grammatical error. Please feel free to correct me.
I’m drained.

Posted from the little cave with wi-fi I live in.

Advertisements