I’m sitting under the shade after having bawled my eyes out because I just failed a test on stuff I know and can probably recite in my sleep. I think this qualifies as having jit rock bottom. I feel so dirty and like the scum of the earth right now. I’m still crying as I write this because I don’t have the strength to get up and go home.
I am tempted to get drunk, but my father is coming to see me and I can’t show up to meet him shitfaced. He’ll skin me alive and carry my corpse back to Nigeria with his bare hands.
I dont know how to feel, because I’m usually doing the consoling and I feel like people would look at me in disdain at being less-than-perfect.
This is by far the shittiest week I’ve had. I have never studied this much before and it all went to the dogs. I’m going to stare at the fountain in the park and read a novel.
I feel like such a disgrace.